frost outside, love inside.

Farmhouse, October 19, 2009

Patch arrived yesterday, and the place becomes charged with energy. At the same time, what he says makes me feel like I haven't done anything since I've been here. He acts, and nothing else. Everything is intention, is purpose, is sincerity--even the humor. His presence urges me to live intentionally, and talk through the night with the people I love and the people I don't know.

---

frost has come to have his way with the Earth. these are the latter days of the year, the death-throes of beauty. i can feel the ground beginning to seize up beneath me, like a lover whose heart has burst from love-making and is now clenching and twitching either in ecstasy or death. but who can tell the difference?

the leaves are finishing their falling. the air is thinner, and so there seems to be more of it passing through my lungs and mouth. leaves again - it's the same sound as a soft rain, larger branches hitting the canvas of the yurt like larger drops from the trees. and the sun chooses to come out, on the coldest day yet.

here, there are no days, nor hours, nor any other made-up divisions of time. time is present, but it moves unpredictably, in a new dance. this is Time: when the smoke from a chimney brings comfort, when i can't tell the difference between the fire-smoke and the mist still hovering, when shadows are a welcome sign of sunlight and yet bringers of cold. This is the when i live in. This is the when i want to be in, more than any other, more than yesterday And tomorrow! No, i don't want to talk! i want to catch a leaf and make a wish.

and i know it is Time when the cold seeps through my jacket, and i head for the smoke.